Dear Monsters,

I'm excited to tell you that in a short two weeks I'll be coming to see you! And, this is Rand and his own wonderful Monster.

Rand is very nice and he's coming too, and we're both very much looking forward to the visit. His sweet Monster isn't coming this trip, but you'll no doubt meet her another time.

We do have a problem, though. We haven't quite figured out how we're getting there. Remember how far Austin, Texas is from Renton, Washington? There are, according to Google, around 2,141.7 miles between us on any given day. Sheesh. That's a long way between where you live and where I live. Bummer. What do you think, Monsters? What should we do?

We could start walking....

Let's say we can walk 4 miles in an hour. 2141.7 divided by 4 means I'd need about 535 1/2 hours to get to you from here. Hmmmmm.... How many days is that? 535 1/2 divided by 24 hours = about 22 days. Oof, my head hurts now, and walking clearly won't work. I was hoping to see you much sooner than that.

Maybe we could hitchhike....

Or maybe not.

How about train hopping?

Nope. That won't work.

I suppose we could drive, just like your dad did when he moved there from Texas. But, it would be nice to get there a whole lot faster.

I've heard rockets go fast!

Oh, but we don't have one of those, and I think it would take too long to build.

I know! We can fly! Why not? Birds do it. Why can't we?

What's that you say? We don't have wings. Hmph. I guess you're right.

But we have KITES! I'll ride one and Rand will ride the other and we'll ride high in the sky, resting on clouds and taking in the view of the Earth below, as it seems to get smaller and smaller as we soar higher and higher. It'll be great! Maybe we'll even run into Cloud Men. According to a book I read once, they're in charge of the weather. Not very friendly folks, as I recall.... That could pose a problem.

http://darksilenceinsuburbia.tumblr.com/post/5135806328/drew-falchetta-cloud-men
http://drewfalchetta.com/www.drewfalchetta.com/Paintings.html

What if the Cloud Men throw snow balls or make the wind blow us the wrong way and we end up some place like Detroit, Michigan instead of Renton, Washington? Bummer.

http://www.dgatmag.com/life-in-the-d/the-dgat-guide-to-moving-to-detroit/

Hmmmmm....

Rand suggested we ride Dragons. Yeah, Dragons!

Um, and here I'm stumped. Ideas for stick figure dragons elude me.... Clip art to the rescue!

http://www.dennisholmesdesigns.com/cartoons_clipart.html

Oh, maybe not such a great idea. Ouch. Got any aloe? Dragons breathe fire and while our clothes seem to be flame retardant, we, on the other hand, are most definitely not.

I don't know, Monsters? I'm at a loss. What can we do?

Airplanes, you say? There are airplanes that fly through the sky that will take us wherever we want to go, whenever we want to go there, and we can still get the same great view like we were flying on a kite? Wow! That's a great idea! You're so smart, Monsters. Thank you!

 Love,

Auntie Hatchetface


 *Fun fact, per a wonderful person who actually gets to FLY airplanes: the first powered flight ever, December 17, 1903, lasted only 12 seconds and went a distance of 120 feet. Airplanes have come a long way since the Wright brothers got it all started! Another fun fact: those brothers were inspired by bicycles. Cool.